Box of Chocolates

Since losing my son I have not enjoyed using social networking sites like Facebook.  For me Facebook is my personal, and very literal box of chocolates.  When I log in and see newsfeed I never know what I am going to get.  Most of my friends are parents, new parents, or even expectant parents and lets just say the truth, they love to post about their kids, babies, and pregnancies. 
Now, I am very supportive of all of my friends and their families but lets just admit that its tough to see and read things that can trigger memories of my loss.  If I am having a good day and log into Facebook and am immediately confronted with a beautiful picture of a newborn baby my heart sinks.  When I log in and see a status of a friend who is announcing her pregnancy or giving an update on her pregnancy I get upset.  It has nothing to do with my friend and if I were on the phone with them and they told me about their pregnancy or baby I don't think I would have a hard time with it because I would be prepared for it knowing that I am on the phone with a friend who has had a baby or is expecting.  It's back to the box of chocolates mentality that with Facebook and other social networking sites I have ZERO control over what pops up on my screen and usually I am not prepared for that yellow tapioca filling.

I have not been on Facebook much since my stillbirth and am often asked why I never seem to update anything or post new pictures of my family.  I find it hard to explain to my friends because I honestly don't know if they will be able to understand that it's nothing negative toward them but more about me and the lack of control with what I am bombarded with on Facebook's newsfeed.  That is how I came up with the box of chocolates explanation because I never know what I am going to bite into.